


Pidge's Lady Business

by livingtrashcan05



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Accurate description of a period, Allura (Voltron) is a bitch, Coran Coran is a gorgeous man, How Do I Tag, Keith has no idea, Lance and Hunk are the best big brothers, Menstruation, Other, Shiro has a vague idea, There is swearing, There's Plance if you squint, pidge has her period
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-13 01:42:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16007651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livingtrashcan05/pseuds/livingtrashcan05
Summary: Pidge gets her period. Lance and Hunk are the best big brothers. The Alteans, Shiro, and Keith are clueless. Pidge just wants to rest. Check notes for a warning.





	Pidge's Lady Business

**Author's Note:**

> In this fic, I describe what a period is and how it works using the proper terminology. I do use words such as vagina, so if that makes you uncomfortable DO NOT READ! There is mentions of blood, but it's a period, so it's to be expected.

“Well, shit.” Pidge cursed as she saw the rusty brown stain on the crotch of her pajama pants. “Perfect timing as always, you little fucker.” She had revealed that she was a girl to the rest of Team Voltron, but she didn’t feel comfortable talking about shedding uteruses with them. It was hard to explain how simply painful and frustrating periods were if you had never experienced one.

 

Sighing, Pidge got out of bed and checked her blanket and sheets for any blood. Thankfully, there was none. _Less laundry,_ Pidge thought as she grabbed her normal clothes and headed to her bathroom. Pidge quickly pulled off her pajamas and put on her fresh clothes. She placed a large wad of toilet paper where a pad normally went in her underwear and hoped that it wouldn’t leak and stain the rest of her clothes. Pidge planned on going with Lance and Hunk later today when they were going to get more supplies to restock on her feminine hygiene products. When she was pretending to be a boy, she would sneak into the girls’ bathroom at the Garrison and buy the cheap stuff from the shiny, silver machines. She wondered if the Yellow and Blue Paladins would judge her for buying pads and tampons. _Hopefully, they still sell them out in space._ Pidge tried to brush off the worry, but it stuck in the back of her mind as she made her way down to breakfast, the toilet paper in her pants chafing against her thighs.

 

* _At breakfast_ *

 

When Pidge had reached the dining hall, she was slightly out of breath, which had never happened before. She paused just outside the door, giving herself a moment. Easy exhaustion wasn’t new to her. She was always more tired, more hungry, and definitely had a much shorter temper when she was on her period. Pidge winced as sharp cramps shot through her lower abdomen, and she could feel the fresh blood (or old blood, depends on how you look at it) weighing down her makeshift pad. She made a mental note to grab painkillers from the medbay later and to see of they could leave on the supply run sooner as she entered the dining hall.

 

Everyone was already there when Pidge came in, but it didn’t seem like she was too late. They looked like they were just sitting down, and Hunk had just put down the tray of food goo he had made. “Oh, hey Pidge!” Hunk said, with his usual big smile. “I’m trying something new with the food goo, so tell me what you think.” Pidge nodded as she sat down next to Allura with Lance and Hunk across from her. “That last fight with Sendak was pretty tough,” said Allura as everyone started eating. “You should try and work a bit harder in training today. See if you can get to level nine instead of level seven.”

“I’m not going to be training today,” Pidge said, looking directly at the Altean princess, who was furious. “Why not, Pidge? _Sendak nearly took off with all the Lions_ . We can’t let that happen again!” Pidge swallowed, ready to rip Allura a new one. “Well, I’m the one who actually stopped Sendak from taking off with the fucking Lions! You made the mistake of locking yourself outside! Why not just have me use my armor’s gauntlet to scan the village for life forms from a window? Then, this shit never would have happened! Clearly, you have much to learn, _Princess_ .” Everyone in the room looked about ready to kill Pidge, but she didn’t care. It was Allura’s fault that she had trapped herself and Keith outside the castle. _Pidge had saved them_. Besides, she wouldn’t be of much use in training with a wad of toilet paper in her crotch.

 

“What has gotten into you, Pidge?” Shiro said, clearly angry. “You _do not_ talk to the princess that way!” Pidge couldn’t help but smirk. Nothing had gotten _into_ her, but something was certainly coming _out_ of her. “My bloody buddy is here, Shiro. Get fucking used to it.” Lance and Hunk had looks of sudden realization, while Keith, Shiro, and the Alteans couldn’t’ve looked more confused. Shiro opened his mouth to say something (probably to ask what a “bloody buddy” was), but Lance beat him to it. “You wanna come with Hunk and me on the supply run, Pidge?” Lance asked quickly. Pidge nodded eagerly, while everyone (minus Hunk) was livid, Allura most of all. “She’s skipping training, and you two are _just going to let her come with you on the supply run?_ ” Hunk looked Allura dead in the eye, stretching up to his full, intimidating height. “Do you have a problem with it?” he snapped. Paired with Hunk and Lance’s threatening glares, and the fact the Lance had his bayard on the table, everyone else was cowed into silence. Lance nodded briskly. “Good, and if you do, you have to answer to me.” He cut a scorching glare at Allura. “No matter who you are.” Everyone knew that Lance had a thing for Allura, so Pidge thought it was sweet of Lance to stand up for her. The rest of the meal was had in an uncomfortable silence.

 

Pidge sat in the lounge with her laptop, doing research on the best places to buy pads and tampons in this solar system. Thankfully, there was an store that sold Earth items (including what Pidge needed) not far from the Castle’s current location. Even better, it sold the items she had used at home!

 

The Green Paladin was pulled from her research with the hiss of the sliding door, and the rest of the Paladins (including Allura and Coran) flopped down on the couch. Pidge’s fellow pilots were bruised, sweaty, and out of breath. “Good work, team,” Shiro said through his heavy breathing. “We made it to level eight. It was tricky. We could’ve used some extra help.” The Black Paladin glanced at the Green Paladin, looking for a reaction, though he got none. “Good for you.” Pidge said, still not looking up from her research. Allura hummed her agreement with Shiro’s statement. “You all did as well as you could. Pidge, what did you do with your time off?” By now, everyone was looking at her, but Pidge still didn’t make eye contact. She had no intention of telling anyone (except Lance and Hunk, who both were pretty knowledgeable about periods) what she had been researching. “I researched stores in our area that sell what we need.”

“And was your search successful?” Allura asked, widening her eyes and tipping her head to one side. Trying to look like the picture of innocence. Pidge didn’t buy it for a second. “Had you considered we had done the same thing when we entered the solar system?” Pidge threw her head back and laughed, making everyone else in the room uncomfortable. Had she thought of that? _Had she thought of that?_ Of course she had! But, she wasn’t about to tell Allura she was looking at things to absorb the dead lining and blood pouring out of her vagina. Pidge leaned toward Allura, a wicked smile tugging at her lips. “You know, back home on Earth, we had a rule in the Holt Household. _Don’t fucking argue with the bleeding woman._ ”

“Pidge, can you get the coordinates for the store of your choice, and meet Hunk and I in the Yellow Lion hangar in thirty doboshes? We wanna take showers before we go.” Lance cut in before Allura (or anyone else) could, and said female threw him a dirty look. Pidge nodded, and snapped her laptop closed. She was tempted to give Allura the finger as she walked out behind the Yellow and Blue Paladins.

 

“So, where we goin’ Pidge?” Lance asked, stretched out on a seat in the Yellow Lion cockpit. All three Paladins were in their armor, and Lance and Hunk smelled like Altean soap. Pidge flicked her wrist, pulling up a familiar light blue screen. “There’s a store near here that sells pads and tampons, as well as knock-off Earth brands, so we can go there. I’m sending you a flight path, Hunk.” Said Paladin nodded, as he pulled it up the main screen. Most of the ride was in silence, until Lance cleared his throat. “Pidge, if you need anything, don’t hesitate to let Hunk or me know, okay? We’ve both dealt with periods a lot, so we have a good idea on how to act.” Pidge smiled, happiness flooding through her whole being. “Thanks Lance. That means a lot to me.” Hunk coughed, getting the other two Paladins’ attention. “So, Pidge. Are you gonna tell the rest of the team about your period? Because I don’t think Allura or Shiro will tolerate you skipping a week of training every month without a solid reason.” Pidge hummed, and tilted her head to one side, thinking. “Well, I didn’t train today because I have a wad of fucking toilet paper in my underwear. But, now that I’m getting pads and tampons, I’ll train with you guys, but I’ll just take it easy. I think I should tell everyone about my period, though. That way they can’t really get mad if I go easy in training. I’ll do it after dinner.” The two boys nodded their agreement. Lance smiled. “I can’t wait to see how they react.”

 

It took Pidge nearly ten minutes to find the pads and tampons, as they were tucked away the back corner of the gigantic store. She found quickly her favorite brand was the _only_ brand they sold here. Not that she was complaining, she bought them out. How she managed to get them all to the register by herself was still beyond her, or anyone for that matter. Once Pidge got back to the Castle, she and her boxes disappeared into the Green Paladin’s room. The relief that Pidge felt from wearing a proper pad was beyond words. She flushed her blood-stained toilet paper down the toilet and didn’t look back.

 

* _At dinner_ *

 

“How did the supply run go?” Shiro asked as everyone dug in to Hunk’s latest creation. “Did you get what was on the list” Lance nodded. He and Hunk had let their brotherly instincts take over, and found everything that was on the list Shiro had made, as well as other things to make sure everyone was comfortable. “Now, for the other thing we need to talk about,” Shiro looked at Pidge, his dad voice in full force. “Pidge why did you skip training today if you were well enough to go on the supply run?” Pidge swallowed. She remembered rehearsing what she was going to tell them in her room, but Shiro had thrown her off. But, like a true strategist, she had a plan. “You might not like the answer,” Pidge said, thinking about how disgusting most people found periods. Shiro crossed his arms and gave Pidge his best ‘I don’t care if I like the answer or not, but you better tell me anyway’ face. Pidge sighed, “I got my fucking period this morning, okay?” The only people who didn’t have looks of utter bewilderment on their faces were Lance and Hunk, who just sat back, eager to watch this unfold (and provide backup if needed.). “How can you get a punctuation mark?” Keith asked, confusion written on his features. Pidge huffed, and rubbed her temples. This was going to be interesting.

 

After asking Coran to borrow his holo-pad to show something, Pidge projected the image of a uterus. _Here goes nothing._ “Starting at the age of twelve or so, the uterus begins to practice having a baby. So, the ovaries, which are these ball things, release one egg. This is called ovulation. To prepare for the egg, the walls of the uterus build up an extra thick lining of blood, mucus and tissue. Since the egg hasn’t been fertilized, the lining is shed through the only opening. The vagina. This is called menstruation, or a period. With a period comes exhaustion, cramps, headaches, mood swings, and cravings.” When Pidge had finished, everyone who didn’t know what a period still looked confused. Coran cleared his throat, signaling for attention. “If I may, Pidge, where is the vagina located?” Pidge gave him a deadpan look, and pointed at her crotch. “This is where a vagina is.” Allura spit out her drink. “YOU BLEED THROUGH YOUR CROTCH HOLE?!” Pidge nodded. Allura sighed and shook her head. “Thank the ancients I’m not from Earth.”

 

“Any questions?” Pidge asked. Best to get it over with now, and not suddenly when they were on missions. But, she didn’t really expect anyone to ask. Keith had gone completely white, and was muttering “I don’t trust anything that lives after bleeding out like that.” Shiro raised his Galra hand. “How frequent are periods and how long do they last?”

“A typical cycle lasts twenty-eight days, or a month, and periods typically last five to seven days. It varies from person to person.” Keith was muttering something different now. “I trust something even less if it can bleed out for a week and still live.”

 

“How is the blood replaced? We need our Number Five in her best form to find her brother.” Coran asked. “The human body won’t have a period if it doesn’t have the right nutrition, it takes care of itself. The blood is replaced naturally.” Pidge answered. Allura looked like she was about to ask something, but Pidge answered her before she could say anything. The Altean princess was very predictable. “My period won’t get in the way of my training. I didn’t have any pads or tampons, so I put a bunch of fucking toilet paper to act as a pad. I’ll still train, but I’m going to go easy. My period lasts five to six days, and I get cramping, hungry, irritable and I get tired much easier. This won’t get in the way too much.” Allura closed her mouth, satisfied with Pidge’s answer. Keith spoke up, eager to get his questions answered. “How do you get the blood from not going all over the place? Why do girls on their periods get cramping?” The Red Paladin asked.

“The walls of the uterus are contracting, pushing out the dead lining. Simply put, the uterus is giving birth to the dead lining. To catch the blood, some people use pads. They’re made out of absorbent material, and you stick them in your underwear. They catch the blood after it leaves the body. Some people wear tampons, you stick them in the vagina, and they absorb the blood there. However, you can’t wear a tampon for over three hours. If you do, you could get, very, very sick. So, people wear pads overnight.” By the look on his face, Keith regretted asking those questions. Pidge slumped in her chair, and sighed. Hopefully, this would all be over soon.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact, Pidge's period is mine! What she goes through is what I go through, and my period lasts five to six days!


End file.
